Psychedelics for Healing + Meeting God | My Hero Dose Journey

In this episode of Awaken and Align with KP, I share the transformative and deeply personal story of my accidental hero dose of psilocybin. Join me as I recount the challenges, insights, and profound healing that unfolded during this experience. From reconnecting with my ancestors to exploring spiritual dimensions and achieving ego death, this journey taught me lessons about love, source, and the importance of balancing our inner and outer worlds.

Caution: Caution: This podcast is for educational and storytelling purposes only and does not promote or encourage the use of psilocybin or any other substances. Psychedelics can have profound and unpredictable effects on mental health. They can exacerbate existing conditions and may also trigger dormant mental health disorders, including psychosis or bipolar disorder, in individuals who are predisposed. Those with mood disorders, a history of trauma, or any mental health conditions should exercise extreme caution and consult a qualified healthcare professional before considering any psychedelic experiences. Set, setting, and mental preparedness play a critical role in the outcome of such experiences. Please make informed and intentional decisions regarding your well-being.

Whether you're curious about spiritual awakenings, healing from trauma, or the integration of psilocybin experiences, this episode offers a heartfelt narrative about growth, connection, and self-discovery.

Stay tuned until the end, where I read a poem inspired by the experience, channeling insights from higher dimensions.

Connect with me on Instagram and Threads @awakenandalignwithkp to share your thoughts and join this beautiful community of growth and alignment.

🔮 Follow & Connect:
📸 Instagram: @awakenandalignwithkp
🧵 Threads: @awakenandalignwithkp
📖 Medium: @korinneelizabeth

Transcript

Hey guys, and welcome back to, well, it was in depth with KP, but now I have renamed the podcast and it's awaken and align with KP. That's also my new Instagram handle. That's what I'm trying, going to make every single handle of mine. So that's really easy to find and stay in touch with my brand, but I named it awaken and align with KP because I felt like that's exactly what happened this past year for me and what I'm here on earth to help other people do in their lives is awaken to the world itself.

It's like, I just came up with this, um, triple spiritual awakening thing today, like layers of, a cake. Anyways, I'm being awkward already, but I was thinking of my spiritual awakening and I realized it was in three parts. It was one, an awakening to the reality of the world around me and exactly how it works and what's actually going on and not just whatever conditioning I've been taught, whatever lens I've been looking through, whatever reality I've painted was in my own mind.

It was like, I, it felt like one of my spiritual awakenings, I just woke up and just saw everything for exactly what it is. And then two, an awakening to me, myself, and I on the inside. So my entire subconscious, and I'm still unraveling layers of it, but it was an awakening to my internal world. So my outer world was one and my internal, well, my internal world came first actually.

And then I started awakening to my outer world and the reality of what's inside me and then what's on the outside. And then three, when I came to this, I was so excited because I was like, you know, when you just like put everything together and something just clicks and, uh, it's just, that's one of my favorite feelings.

Guys, I'm really excited. I'm sorry if I'm talking fast. Um, I'll slow it down at one point, but I'm just excited to be talking to you guys on here again. And I'm excited to have this newfound energy and alignment and purpose. That I've been searching for my entire life. So, the third awakening, spiritual awakening that I had, was putting those two together and realizing that your outer world, and you might have heard this before, but it's so different when something actually clicks for you, when you actually experience the quote.

That you read on Instagram when you're like I get it. I see it. I feel I am it So it's three is your outer world is a reflection of your inner world So then I connected the two and then so I realized I was doing everything in my life backwards It seems so simple looking back, but our psyches are so complex.

Our society is Such a matrix It, this game that we choose to play on earth is a lot more complicated than you'd think, but it does feel really simple when you find the answers and you're like, Oh, silly me, but wait, what was I going to say? Oh, I've been doing it backwards my whole life. So my whole life I was.

You know, kind of like subconsciously taught the American dream and I have a whole podcast on the American dream and how it's not going to fulfill you or make you happy. And that was one of the first steps for me on my journey was realizing that. So what I realized I was doing backwards was creating my outer world and not cultivating any of my inner world.

So, and I think that's what one of the major problem is in our society today, problems. One of the major problems are in our society today is that people don't take the time to, and sometimes don't even have the time to, but we can always make the time because it's the most important part of our lives.

To cultivate and grow your inner world and just shine any light on it that you can, because it's so important to understand who you are on the inside, what your strengths are, what your, you know, natural born talents are, what your sense of purpose is, what you like to do, what you're here to do, what your weaknesses are, what you're here to learn in this lifetime.

We live, um, we live more than one life and Hopefully, hopefully that's not gonna like trigger anyone, but I just, what, from what I've seen and what I've experienced throughout my spiritual awakening journey over the past two years is that we live multiple lives and in each life we're supposed to learn more or supposed to level basically and learn more and learn about emotions.

Okay, so now that I've explained why I've changed my brand and its name. Now I want to talk about what probably whatever the title of this video is and why you clicked on it, which is What happened to me and what I saw and experienced during my hero dose? mushroom trip and Just to preface just to start off.

I am NOT encouraging the use of drugs nor am I Involved with them. This is just make believe. Okay, and So, so anyways, I, this past, I think this was in April. Let me check. Yeah. April 2nd, 4 2 24, April 2nd, 2024. I woke up and I had been feeling super weird for maybe about a week and I was really emotional. I had been microdosing.

Mushrooms, magic mushroom, psilocybin to experiment with for my mental health and my energy. So I've been doing this for a, on and off for the past year. So in 2023 to 2024, and then, and that was helping my anxiety and lifting my depression when I would microdose it. And, but then I started in 2024, experimenting more with macro doses, medium doses, and I don't remember, like, the language for, like, how the doses was work.

Dosage of psilocybin. It's so hard to spell. But I started experimenting with different doses. And it's like, I wanted to know how it affected me in every dose. I wanted to know what I would experience. And I was learning so much from the mushrooms that I just wanted to keep learning more and more and more.

I keep doing them, but you do have to be careful with excessive use. You have to take these off. You have to be careful with how, because it affects your neurotransmitters. So I was. Kind of careful about that, kind of not, but just so everyone knows you are supposed to, you're supposed to use them to rewire your brain and bring you to new spiritual realizations, have spiritual experiences, have good social experiences, be really, can become more connected with yourself, with others, whichever, however you want to use them.

For me, it was I, I didn't really, it's like you don't really choose what happens to you and what you learn. The mushrooms decide for you. So with every experience I would always go in like, okay, the mushroom is going to decide for me. And while they did help me connect to other people, most of the time it was like, holy crap, what's going on in here?

There is just, we are very tangled and I would get super introverted. And I'm like, okay, you go do your thing over there on this trip. I need to know what's going on in here. I need to listen to the mushroom and, and there's times where like I would be social too. And it was like the most fun thing ever.

And I remember one time I was swimming in the hot tub at my apartment complex and it felt like the most euphoric experience ever. And it's just like, we can have those experiences. But I was so used to living such a shallow life before. I started experimenting with magic mushrooms anyways, back to, so that's the backstories that I was experimenting with the different dosages at this point, not just micro dosing in the efforts to learn what was going on inside of my inner world.

So in April, I guess, end of May, April. I just felt really off from maybe from starting, maybe from opening, like basically opening the spiritual floodgates for myself. It's like once you see the reality of your inner and your outer world, even just glimpses of it, it's like you can't go back. It's like meeting God, which is what happened in my Hero Doves.

So I felt really emotional and I didn't exactly know why I wasn't fully connected to my body or my mind yet. Right? I'm in the middle of this whole spiritual awakening and it takes time. It takes healing. It takes effort. There's, there's levels to it. There's steps to healing. So now I feel super connected.

But at this time, I still felt that Depression that this can, and I didn't even know how badly disconnected I was with my body at the time, but looking back, I know that it was a lot of PTSD and all of that, which I've explained before on my podcast to, uh, the traumas that I've endured. So if you want to know about that, I don't want to relive it now, but it's, um, I think it's in my.

I had anxiety before it was cool, podcast. So, the doses for magic mushrooms, so that we're aware, is that a microdose is anywhere from like 1 I don't want my cheat sheet here. Oh, here we go. So, level 1, psilocybin experiences. Level 1 microdose is anywhere from 05 to 25 grams. Mood enhancement, crisp concentration, increased mental stamina.

Very positive effects, right? So I would do that three days on, four days off, four days on, three days off, whatever cycle I was running, you know? And then there's um, level two mini dose, 0. 25 to 0. 75 grams. That's where you feel a little bit high. You feel stone, mild euphoria, visual enhancements, short term memory anomalies.

I don't know if I've ever experienced that. Altered sound perception. So your senses start. change in. You feel a little high, a little giggly. Level 3, Museum Dose, 0. 5 to 1. 5 grams. Colors become more vivid, closed and open eye visuals, distracted thought pattern, enhanced creativity. Level 4, Moderate Dose, 2.

0 to 3. 0, I did way more than this, 3. 5 grams. Warped and kaleidoscopic visuals, mild hallucinations, 30, closed eye vision, oh, 3D, I was like, That's 3D closed eye visuals, minor synesthesia, distorted sense of time, and then there's level 5, megados, 3. 5 to 5 grams, heavy hallucinations, ego dissolution, mild disconnect from reality, complete loss of time, synesthesia, synesthesia, out of body experiences, and then there's level 6, which is the highest dose.

Is that anything over 5 grams? Mind you, let me explain what it is first, what happens first, complete altering of senses, ego death, ego death, complete disconnect from reality. So the ones that I were penis enemy and they are grown to be much stronger, which I did not take into consideration this day as I was very emotional and not being rational and.

Maybe being a little bit impulsive, but at the same time, I'm really glad this all happened because, and you'll see why. So I took 5 grams penis envy psychedelic magic mushrooms. That for maybe someone that is not 4'11 and 3 quarters, I think I'm 5 foot on the dot. Sometimes I'm 4'11 and 3 quarters.

Depends on the, depends on the ruler. Anyways. I don't even weigh 115 pounds. I'm 114 pounds. At the time, I think I might've been 100 and no, I probably, I was probably around 114 pounds at that time. I'm, I'm like,

I didn't really eat much that day

and they were stronger than normal. So these dosages are all based off of normal, not strong psychedelic magic mushrooms. So what happened after I took a heroic dose accidentally, because I thought it was a mega dose.

Mind you, my goal going into this, I set up my spot where I was going to be. My dog was there, I had a comfy spot, the bathroom was right there, so I was in my bedroom, I had the bathroom, and then the closet in a two bedroom apartment. Made sure the lighting was comfortable. I have to make sure, like, all my senses were gonna be good.

Cause you go into this weird sensory state, right? So all my senses were gonna be good. And I start playing Gene Igoe music cause that's what keeps me centered and calms me down. Ah, I'm so nervous, it's all you guys. Okay, so I'm laying on the floor.

I'm waiting with my eyes closed trying to get into like a meditative state because sometimes when the magic mushrooms kick in, they can make your stomach feel weird and they can make you all tingly and For someone that gets nervous easily, um, is prone to anxiety. I'm an empath. I can feel more than most people I can feel a lot.

So I feel a lot. So I had to make sure that I was in a very calm state while these kicked in. And what happened was. I, I barely remember the beginning. I just like, remember like when I get all just like went crazy. I started to feel that anxious feeling that like, okay, very overly what sensory overload, like, well, I feel a lot.

I have to kind of just deal with this transition. My shower is right there. Anytime I feel that weird transition and it makes me feel anxious, I go and take a shower. And now that I know that showering is really spiritually cleansing and cleanses your energy field too, it makes a lot of sense why I would always do this.

It's anti anxiety. Literally taking a shower is anti anxiety. So, um, so, and I just, while I'm showering, I had makeup on because I was supposed to go to work that day, which obviously I did not make it to work that day.

While I'm in the shower, I'm like, ew, I feel disgusting. I need to be absolutely, fully fucking, excuse my French. I need to be absolutely clean. I need to take my makeup off. And then the visuals and the hallucinations started while I was in the shower, which is where I like them to start so that I can kind of ease into the trip.

In a calm way, I feel very safe in the shower, um, in this transition period. And so I'm getting out of the shower and because I didn't know that it was a hero dose and it was going to send me into the state that it sent me in, I was trying to take my makeup off and I'm going to read the notes I took the right after it.

When I got out of the shower, I remembered so many memories of when I was lost and vulnerable in my life, and I uncontrollably cried my eyes out at all these lost girl memories, and I could see my dad in my, what I didn't know was my mind's eye at the time, but now I know in my mind's eye, I could see my dad.

And I felt like, wow, I miss my dad so much. I'm living in Florida. He's in Connecticut. And for the past four or five years, I was in San Diego. And while I've been able to visit my family, I had just been gone from them for so long in so many different ways that I was like, not fully conscious of. And so I'm thinking, I miss my dad so much and there's all this pain that just comes up that I think I just suppress, repress, push down for years and years in my whole life.

And all this pain comes up and I'm thinking, am I going to be okay? And now I'm on the bathroom floor and this pain becomes so overwhelming. And I feel it in what I now know was my root and my sacral chakras. I'm feeling the pain here and I'm hugging, but it's like not pain. Like someone hit you in the stomach.

It's like my energetic body. Again, I didn't know this at the time. I'm just experiencing it. You can't like reflect on it until after you have to just beat in the trip. So I was trying to take my makeup off and then all this pain comes up and I'm holding. My body where these lower chakra centers are, and I'm like doubled over and I don't know if I'm going to survive.

I feel like the pain that I'm feeling. is so painful and so overwhelming that I,

in my head thought, Oh my God, I, I don't know if I'm going to survive this. I think this pain could kill me. I literally thought that, Oh my gosh, I don't know if I can feel all this pain. I think I could die. And then I asked for help. I'm like, please, please help. And I don't even know who I'm asking, but looking back, I'm like, I'm asking God.

I. I stopped going to church at age 12 because I felt in my soul that organized religion just wasn't the right thing and that I could have my own connection with God. But because I didn't have that organized religion and. All the data I've collected from the spiritual awakening now that I have now, I didn't, I didn't stay connected with God my whole life.

And so I got super lost. And that's what I learned during this trip is I, I asked God for help. And then when I reflect on the trip, I'm like, that's why I got lost. I've strayed from God, my family. I've just been so lost and so disconnected from myself, from source, from love. And all my chakras are messed up and I have no idea until I'm going through this whole hearing healing journey that we'll get there.

And I just feel all the pain and I'm like doubled over in pain and I'm asking for help because I think I'm going to die. And then all of a sudden, and I don't think I can move. I don't feel like I have any strength. I'm literally doubled over like I can't move. I don't have the will, I don't have the strength and be.

Because I asked for help. What happened next was I got pushed back. I did not move. I swear on my life. I did not voluntarily move. I got pushed back. My shoulders went back and my head went up. And I'm looking up like, holy, holy. And I see a pyramid of bright crystals of all different colors and layers of this pyramid.

Shooting up

to pure white light, pure white light. And all of a sudden I'm like, I feel so much love. And this is what happens in near death experiences. So I'm, I didn't, and I figured that out after, cause I'm going on Reddit after my trip, like someone please have had this experience because I don't know what just happened.

And what was in the pyramid and all the layers were all my ancestors. And throughout my whole trip is just an inner knowing of what's going on. Like, I just know these are my ancestors and I just know that that's God. And from, I need to read my notes cause there's like, so they described it so perfectly.

I, I looked up and I saw what looked like our entire and our entire, Oh yeah, my whole family's entire ancestry and lineage and we're all okay. Now all of a sudden we're all okay and we're all connected. And then I went into this deep sleep state is what I would describe it as. I went into this like deep sleep state where I could feel my brain being healed and rewired.

Like I just knew that my brain was being healed and rewired by the mushrooms. I'm not crazy. And I can feel that it's, The mushrooms are fixing broken connections and memories and giving me sleep that I didn't know I wasn't getting deep sleep for all these years until after this experience. And I was told that I've been like almost asleep.

Oh, see, there's some things that I don't remember that I have to reread. I'm like, cause there's so much that went on. It was like, it felt like two whole days within three hours. And I was, so I was told, and now I know that, um, in the spiritual realm tele, telepathy is a thing. So you, you talk with your thoughts.

So that's what was going on here was I was like in the spiritual realm with my ancestors and God, and they're telling me things. That creates the inner knowing and we're talking with our thoughts telepathy and, and this inner, and they, they give me like inner knowings that made me feel at peace, made me feel healed.

And so they told me that I've been like almost asleep my whole life and hiding. And I had bad, I have bad vision because. And hiding like a little baby cub my whole life, because I was scared and didn't know if the world was safe and I didn't know who was supposed to protect me my whole life and how I didn't know how to protect my, I like, these are revelations that I'm being, that I'm realizing and being told and how to, Protect myself so I didn't know who was supposed to protect me and I didn't know how to protect myself and take care of myself fully and my dad is here in the corner of my vision, my hallucination, my mind's eye, whatever you want to call it.

And he told me, you can always come back to me and mom, if you ever get lost or need help now, obviously made me feel better. And then after that happened, um, oh, and also when I saw the white light, it poured into me and I remember thinking, cause I want to back up at the white light. And I remember thinking as it's pouring into me, I'm so sorry for anything bad I've ever done.

So I'm like repenting for sins in this. So I get out of the trip and after the love part, I'm like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry for anything bad I've ever done. Like, I feel so bad. How do I, how do you forgive me? How do I forgive myself? Please, please. And it fills me with this white, pure love and light. And I just hear in my mind, I hear it's okay.

You didn't know.

And then instantly right after that, I am teleported into all these different spiritual dimensions. So it's like I went through this whole. Like awakening to what my life was that I was lost and rewiring of my brain and fixing my My sacral my root chakra and you know that took a lot more work after as well to keep healing but after That part of the trip instantly.

I'm teleported to this beautiful oasis of water and I have this ai picture that Is on my medium Where I write

medium.com/where I put my writings. So I have like this AI picture that looks like almost exactly what, where I was, that you can go check out and I'll put it on the screen on YouTube too so you can see where I was teleported to what it looked like. It looks very similar to this. So I was teleported to this beautiful oasis of water and it's purple, like deep purple colors and some like fuchsia pink, all the rocks.

We're in this cave and there's an oasis of water within the cave. And I watched myself get reborn, but with the consciousness and awareness that I have now, so that I could watch myself get reborn and feel safe. Knowing that my family members were there with me, they were making sure it was okay. And that I would always be okay.

And so I'm hearing, watching them watch me get born all my whole family's there. And they're like, we love you, Rennie. That's what they call me is my nickname. We love you, Rennie. We're always going to look out for you. You're going to be okay. And I think that looking back at the trip that I really needed that because obviously in the part before that, I was.

Realizing that, like, I was so seared my whole life and just trying to not be. And so that was part of the healing that I needed in that moment. And then I was transporting and working through where'd I get stuck. And I kept saying, don't leave me behind. And my family was like, don't ever worry. We will always wait for you and be here for you.

Oh, okay. So I was, I remember where I went next was after that beautiful oasis. I was, um, teleported to this land kind of where I was a baby cub. I was a baby lion and it was so cute. And my parents were there and they were full grown lion. And I'm going out and I'm playing with the other baby cubs and other baby lions.

And that's what this part was where I'm saying I was working throughout where I'd get stuck. So one of the experiences that I had in this little lion world, so we're like in, uh, where lions would be. We're in the wilderness. We're in the, um, on a safari. I don't, I don't know what it's called. What kind of, uh, the desert.

Uh huh. I've never been to a place where lions are, so I'm not sure, but there's caves there, there's land, there's grass. And so I'm playing with the other lion cubs, and they're doing, we're playing this game. And everyone's pretty good at it, and clearly it's my first time playing because As I start playing it, I'm just thinking like, Oh my God, I have to be super, super good at this.

I have to be the best at it. I have to be perfect. I have to be just as good as the rest of the Cubs. And that's like where it's, it was symbolic of where I get stuck in my daily life, because in that moment in my trip that I was playing these games and trying to be so good at them, I would get really, really upset, like deeply upset that I wasn't measuring up.

I wasn't being as good as the rest of the other cubs. And I remember going to my parent, my, my parents in lion form at that time, and I was like, so sad and they were like, no, you don't have to be the best. You don't. Games are not about being the best, they're about having fun. And that was insanely, incredibly healing for me as well.

Because my whole life, I just, I felt like I had to be the best at everything. And if I wasn't, then I wasn't worthy. And so I'm like working through feelings of unworthiness within this trip, but in this like whole nother dimension. And I just remember like being so happy that they told me that and that I could just have fun.

I'm like, Whoa, that sounds nice. I don't have to put all this pressure on myself because. That was definitely taking away from my happiness all these years. And then I just kept saying, I don't want to get further away. I don't want to get further away. I don't want to keep being lost like this. I kept feeling, I kept seeing my life like, Oh my God, I've been lost all these years.

I don't want to be this far away from my family and like far away from love. And so I'm saying in my head, like, I don't want to get further away. Um, how do I stay close to my family? And, oh, it says, and the truth. So I was. Exploring the spiritually, like how do I stay close spiritually to my family and spiritually close to the truth?

And they just held me, they just like, let me be there with them and in this, in these dimensions and in this trip. And then I wrote down that the whole journey just felt like there were so many spirit spirits and a higher presence with me the whole time. And then I had an ego death too. So I remember picturing kind of like who I.

Am in life and how I've always like been striving to be successful, to be rich, to be the best, to be super for perfectionist. And then I see my parents for who they are and authority figures that I was probably supposed to look up to and respect, but maybe didn't in my life. And I see them and I just get this inner knowing of like, Oh, wait, they have some good points.

They are equal to me. I don't have to be. The best and basically it's kind of hard to explain this part, but basically my ego death was just a full realizing that I'm not better than anyone and that I've always that I've like some really deeply subconsciously. Convinced myself that I knew better than everyone.

And then I could, and I think it was out of, out of fear, out of pure fear that like, I have been the black sheep. I've taken every single, you should do this in, in life. Um, get a job, go to, go to school, get a job, blah, blah, blah. And I just tossed it all to the side my whole life. And I was like, I'm going to do everything different than everyone.

And I'm going to figure it all out for myself. And I'm like overly compensating my whole life. And I had no idea, but I guess my ego was really big. And so by seeing everyone that I love and, um, family members that are older than me on it, I basically saw them as like, Oh, we are the same. Like we are on an even playing field.

We all went into this life, like confused, lost, and scared. And we are here to help each other. So that was like a really big lesson was that like, we're all here to help each other. We don't have to figure it out alone. And I think that that was why I had such a big ego is. Yeah. For some reason, I just felt like I have to figure this all out alone.

So then I'm overcompensating my whole life and feelings of unworthiness and all of that. And I had a really big reflection on that in my hike this morning. So follow my Instagram because I upload that to my, I upload a lot of my reflections and my epiphanies that I have that are similar, that always connect back to this.

Um, on my Instagram stories. Okay. So I also wrote more on the ego death. I wrote, I don't have to know it all. This is what I realized during the ego death part. I don't have to know it all. And I'm not smarter than everyone because they'll always love me and we love each other and we all help each other and stubbornness and ego and all of those traits are in the way of actual progress and connection, but I always felt like I was smarter, but it was just a protection barrier.

Because I was scared of not being okay in my life. And I also, I also wrote that I never learned to be fake in front of my family members because they're all here to help. Yeah, that was part of that ego death. Especially auntie, she was very prominent in this vision. She's very helpful figure in my life, very loving.

And my mommy and dad, my mommy and mommy and dad and Nana too. So like my different family members are standing out to me to like, who's. Particularly helpful in my lifetime. So who's going to be particularly supportive, helpful, understanding, and loving to me in my lifetime. Like basically guides, thank you earth family.

And I'm this whole time in this trip, vision, whatever you want to call it. I just have this inner knowing that this is like, this is my soul family. We're not just a family on earth, we're a family and spiritual, different spiritual dimensions. And at one point in my mushroom journey, also the mushrooms were like it doesn't matter if you're the best at something.

It doesn't matter how rich you are. What truly matters is always being okay. As long as everyone in the family is okay. That's what mattered. And then after the baby cup stuff and the ego death, then I became a lioness. Like I grew up within this dimension, within this journey, within this trip. And I was a lioness and a princess lioness, which was very cool and very amazing to experience.

And, um, a man, and I just knew in that like scene that I would ask, no, I don't mean that a man who wants to marry me would go and ask my dad for his blessing to marry me. So I think looking back at that part, I needed that scene. I needed that part because maybe I never have looked at myself with enough respect, I think.

And as a woman in this world, I guess, to realize that. I can be treated right and sometimes it is like a little bit hard to explain out loud if I haven't fully done the writing on each part of my journey to like why I needed that and why it was healing, but I just know that like every little every dimension, every scene, every conversation within this trip was for my overall evolution and healing.

So that was, that was healing in itself because I think that it brought me a new found self respect after seeing myself in that kind of light and see myself as a princess lioness who deserves someone to ask my dad for his blessing to marry me, you know, so it's like, I like that. Rereading this is, is awesome because like, there's, it's one thing to have a spiritual trip and go through and then like, feel like healed and awesome after.

And then you're almost in this like high after, and I was super introspective for the next few days and very relaxed and wrote a lot of poetry the next few days. It felt like the mushrooms were just like still speaking to me and I was just like integrating more and more and more, but it's good to go back and reflect.

On the actual trip itself, cause there's so many layers to it and so many like scenes that happened in this movie that I was like watching basically that I need to reflect on each little part, even I, it's like, no, it's not a year ago. It's December 21st, 2024 now. So it's like three quarters of a year ago, but it's like, I'm still like integrating some of this trip into my life.

Like it's, it was that powerful and that deep. And. It's just crazy because I know this, but I'm still like deeply learning some of this stuff and yeah, there's two sentences left and then I think that means my trip was over. I wrote, I felt cleansed by so much white light and I had this inner knowing that I am healed and everything is going to be okay.

And I need to go back to work, but just have my boundaries and my limits. And have a structure, keep up with my workouts, keep up with my health and everything. Okay. Yeah. So that was, end of the trip was like me realizing like, oh my gosh, I needed all this healing. This was really long overdue. I was living my life out of this protection barrier when all I needed to do was come back to love and source and be told some inner truths that I was missing.

So that was my trip. And that was literally all taking place in my mind. While I'm sitting on the bathroom floor because I could not move. I could not Physically if I opened my eyes The trip would pause and I would still I don't know why I said probably I was there I remember this I would still kind of hallucinate but I was so disconnected from and so disoriented that I tried to pee once within the trip and I Didn't know if I was gonna make it To the toilet which was right there the toilet was literally right next to me And it's like being so messed up.

If you've ever been like, the first time you get drunk, you're just showing myself that you can't use your body right. It was worse, way worse than that. I was like, I ended up peeing successfully, but I remember it being literally the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, peeing during that trip. And I just remember, While I'm peeing.

I'm like, I got to get back to the floor and close my eyes. I got to get back to the floor and close my eyes. I got to get back to the bathroom floor and close my eyes and get back into this trip. So yeah. So then I'm back. I'm back in the trip and all this happened. And at the end of the trip, I'm can just feel like the magic mushroom subsiding.

And I'm like, I need to be somewhere comfortable right now. But my whole body and my mind are insanely exhausted. So while I wish I could have gotten up in that moment and gone to the bed, I couldn't. I, the closet was closer. Actually, I don't think so. I think I was just scared of going near my dog in that state because I knew that I couldn't like pet him or like be attentive or anything.

So I wanted to kind of hide until he came. That tired part wore off. So I went to the closet and I thought it was basically like, I needed comfort or, or, or else it was like a need. So I went to the closet and I was like, I remember being like, Oh, I wish I was in a bed. I wish I had a bunch of blankets and pillows surrounding me.

It was just a sensory like need. So I just took all the clothes and towels and anything I could find in the closet. It probably looked crazy after. And I just put them on the floor and I just collapsed into them. And I just closed my, you can't like nap because it's such a stimulating drug. So it's like, I'm still stimulated, but like I'm resting from teleporting to different dimensions and going through all this healing.

And that was, I guess, very exhausting for my mind, body, and soul. So I'm just laying there like awake, but I'm like resting on this pile of the comfiest things I could find in the moment, thinking that if I ever have a next trip, whenever my next trip is, um, my magic mushroom trip, the next one, I need to have a setup.

I need to have comfort and good sensory vibes set up beforehand because I'm going to want it and I'm going to need it. But I haven't done a hero though since then because it's like so powerful that I'm still integrating a lot of this and I'm very into being sober right now to become more pure in my mind, body and soul because it's helping me get more connected to source more connected to myself and.

No reliance on outer substances for what I want to experience in my life as the short answer and you know after like about half an hour of resting, um, I was able to get up and make some food. I was very hungry after that, but then I rested for the rest of the day and I was like kind of like giggly high, disoriented for the rest of the day.

Like almost like anesthesia for the rest of the night. And just relaxed and wrote down these notes, and I actually wrote down these notes, it looks like the next morning, April 3rd, at 1034 A. M. And then the next evening, I wrote a lot of poetry that kind of described, I need to publish these, I'm going to re read them.

Um, but they're a little long for, I don't know if I want to make the podcast any longer, but I would do want to read one of the poems I wrote. Oh, this is cute.

Um, the first one I wrote is pretty long, so I'm not sure if I'm going to read it. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to read the first poem that I wrote after the trip, because I think it kind of reveals a lot of what happened and what I learned. I wrote, Every emotion is fleeting. Sometimes it's happy, it's funny, it's sad, it's overwhelming, or loud.

At the end of the day, as long as you're okay, as long as you're loved, and you love that love, surround. Stay grounded, stay centered. Work hard, work smart, take care of your soul, your energy, do everything you do as an art. Concrete jungle, temptations, toxicity, empty promises, distractions, lost souls, all they want is to be loved still.

The answers are within you, they're within us all. Hell is paved with good intentions, don't feel so small, because you're a part of it all. The bigger picture, love light, darkness. But then again, darkness is the absorption of all colors. If you think about it, it doesn't make sense. White, light, purity, the absence of.

But it's all entangled in your very essence. We're all connected. We're all one. Like I said, life flows like a river bend. No start. No end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. God, send a message to my friends. The pain, the trauma, repeated cycles, it's all inner turmoil, the inner mechanisms of your soul. Your subconscious is screaming, let me in, let me in.

It's not the end. Trust what God sends. Stay grounded, stay grounded. I didn't know what it meant until I was buried alive and the soil revived me. The water let me feel and breathe. The sun glistened on me and I made a beautiful garden out of the darkness. It was all I needed. All I needed, and so it shall be.

Back to our roots. Pills, booze, artificial food, and these. Versus sitting in soil and nature, how do you feel? Which one do you need? We can advance so far, but come back to love and safety. These people on the internet you see, you don't know their true life story. Their pain, their insecurities, their motives, their weaknesses, their strengths.

Even their ethnicity. Take everything with a grain of salt. If it doesn't serve you, it isn't meant for you. Blast are those that the truth unfolds to. May the world serve you. Show you the light, the darkness, the gray areas in between. Your purpose is whatever fills you. You don't need to overthink it. It lives inside of you.

Your light shines in the darkest of hours. It doesn't need to come from a paycheck or power. My purpose is to shine light where there is still dark. To show the truth and fill our heart. It's heaven sent. It's effortless. As long as I fill my cup and sleep in my bed, don't overthink. Don't force. Don't stress.

It's heaven sent. Lay down, breathe, let it come to you. The answers, you'll find, are effortless. I am. We are. As is. So shall always be. Trust me. I get it. I feel it too. I've been to hell and back within me and you. The thing is, we create our own reality. My outer and inner world is a reflection of me.

Everything I've been through, everything I've processed, every loose end, everything Though say the truth shall set you free, but are you ready? The universe will only tell you as much as you can handle. If you try to fight it, you may interpret it as rambles. Process your emotions, your pain, and be humble.

For every gorgeous strike of lightning has to come with a little thunder. Lights on, no one's home, does that sound familiar? Like you're just coasting through the world alone? Yes, I'm talking to you, bro. I see you. I feel you. I'm here for you. Let my words guide you take a bath and relax Explore the world inside you and as it comes fill it fully for as long as you need to the crying always stops Once it moves through you and then you'll know the beautiful beautiful Really?

Oh, I almost cried I can feel it. I'm literally like I felt this like, and I felt more energy reading that throughout my whole body, like almost like warm, warm sensation. I haven't reread that. I don't think, I think I reread it right after I wrote it, but not since then. I'm going to reread all of these.

That's just one of them that happened after. And then I started writing more poetry after that trip. And I really, a lot of the time I would write, I realized I I wasn't like planning it in my head. I was just writing and I, and I would write words that I had no idea that I knew. And I wrote words that I had never even heard before.

So I wrote words I didn't know the definitions to and that I hadn't heard before. And then after a few months of doing things, doing poetry like this, I realized I was channeling. My Nana's very spiritual, um, she channels her spirit guides and I could go into all of that right now, but basically I realized I was channeling from the higher dimensions what needs to come into the earth now.

I'm excited because I'm going to publish a book on all my channels at one point. And all my poetry and all the art that I've created through the spiritual awakenings that I've had over the past two years. But for now, that was just my story on my accidental hero dose of magic mushrooms. I hope you enjoyed it.

You're entertained. I hope you learned something and I can't wait to talk to you guys in the next podcast Welcome back to my podcast I am so excited to be able to share my life my love and my light with you and My journey and stay connected because if there's anything that I learned from this podcast The mushrooms over this whole time of experimenting with them, it's that we are all connected.

We are all one. We are just learning in different vessels and we need to be here for each other. So I got chills again. I feel like cold saying that, um, I love you and have a good rest of your day or evening or morning or whatever you're doing next XOXO KP. That's what I would usually write in my caption if I was signing off.

Sayonara!